After decades of denying UFOs, the US government finally admitted to it. In this episode, we discuss UFOs.

Transcript

Announcer: Welcome to Tricky Fish; a conversation between the Gen X dad and his millennial daughter. Here’s your hosts, Ian and Rhiannon!

Audio plays scary music from classic film, ___: Yes, it came from outer space to fill the world with terror, to bring you unforgettable suspense. What was it? Where did it come from? Who are the all powerful creatures that walked from outer space?

I: Alright, so here recently, the United States government released declassified information on UFOs. Did you hear that?

R: I heard about it last year. I know more recently, more content was released. But I know there was like a gigantic release of information last year, like last summer.

I: Yeah. Was it last summer? I thought it was later than that.

R: Honestly, when I heard about this stuff- I think was like the Gateway Project, is what is coming to mind- was leaked.

I: You mean Project Bluebook?

R: That is also another thing I’ve heard of as well. But when I heard of it, I was like, ‘You know what? It’s 2020. At this point, nothing can surprise me.’ And then that’s when the alien stuff came out. And I was right; nothing can surprise me.

I: -laughs- Well, as of this, recording this episode, we’re in 2021. 

R: Yeah.

I: So people don’t feel like some kind of weird time loop like, ‘what did I miss?’ You didn’t miss anything. So-

R: No, you probably missed a lot. 

I: Yeah.

R: So much has happened.

I: Probably. 

R: Yeah. 

I: So what are your thoughts? Do you believe in UFOs?

R: I mean, statistically speaking, there’s more space and planets and stars and things happening that we’re not aware of than I can possibly imagine. And I really don’t think this is the only planet in all of that that is capable of life. 

I: Yeah, that’s fair. 

R: So I’m like statistically speaking, there has to be more out there. There has to be.

I: Right. Well, I’ve kind of grown up with the concept of UFOs my entire life, but you have too. But I think maybe a little bit differently and you can correct me if I’m wrong. But I remember as a kid, there was a show on TV; which at the time was three channels and PBS, so four; but was just ABC, CBS and NBC. Those were the only things but there was a show called Project Bluebook. It was the code name for this systematic study of UFOs. So this is what Wikipedia has about this; I’m not gonna read the whole thing. But, “Project Bluebook was the codename for the systematic study of unidentified flying objects by the United States Air Force from March 1952 to it’s termination on December 17, 1969. The project headquartered at Wright Patterson Air Force Base, Ohio was initially directed by Captain Edward J. Ruppelt and followed projects of a similar nature as Project Sign, established 1947, and Project Grudge in 1948.” which I don’t know what those are, but there’s a link to them in Wikipedia if you look us up. Project Bluebook had two goals: namely to determine if UFOs were a threat to national security and to scientifically analyze UFO related data. 1000’s of UFO reports were collected, analyzed and filed. As a result of the Condon report, which concluded that the study of UFOs was unlikely to yield major scientific discoveries and a review of the report by the National Academy of Sciences, Project Bluebook was terminated in 1969. 

R: -chuckling-

I: The Air Force supplies the following summary of its investigation. 1) No UFO reported, investigated or evaluated by the Air Force was ever an indication of threat to our national security. 2) There was no evidence submitted to or discovered by the Air Force sightings categorized as unidentified represented technological developments or principles beyond the range of modern scientific knowledge. And 3) There was no evidence indicating that sightings categorized and identified were extraterrestrial vehicles. And this is after they collected like 12,000 some odd UFO reports. 

R: So most of it was just like, ‘eh, we have nothing to worry about.’ 

I: That was the gist of it, yeah. But they made a TV show-

R: I apologize for laughing at the 69 like a child, by the way.

I: No, it’s fine. So no- they had a show called Project Bluebook. It was just- each premise- you can kind of think of it as a 70’s era X-Files TV show. It’s just that instead of like weird monsters and stuff, each one was like, ‘here was this reporting that we had.’ And so it’s like a reenactment. And there was one that they said was, people had seen a UFO that had horse headed aliens inside. 

R: What?! 

I: Yes.

R: I’ve never heard ‘horse headed aliens’ before. Wow… that’s… a crazy thing to imagine…

I: Keep in mind, this is on an episode of the show that I’m talking about. 

R: Okay. 

I: I don’t know that this is an actual case, because- 

R: Oh okay, so it was like an example for the show. Okay. 

I: Yeah. Because-

R: I was about to say wow, that’s wild. 

I: Yeah. Because the beginning of the show would say that Project Bluebook was this study of UFOs from blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and these are their findings. You know, it’s so it’s based on-

R: Like, Law and Order meets… Oh man, I just had it…

I: It’s X-Files with all the UFO episodes.

R: ‘These are their stories.’ Yeah, it’s X Files meets Law and Order.

I: Yeah. In this episode they are like, talking to this family; these two federal G-men. 

R: -laughs-

I: And they’re like, ‘Alright, what’s your story?’ I don’t know why I started doing a Batman voice. ‘What’s your story?’

R: -laughs-

I: ‘Where are they?!’ No- 

R: That is a question they would ask.

I: That is a question they would ask, right. But they would go and like ‘you reported seeing something, you know, weird?’ and then the family would be like, ‘Yeah, we saw this’ and in this one that was like, ‘Yeah, this alien craft came down and it was silver and it was shining. And there were alien pilots. And they had horse’ heads.’ So the whole episode is them going, ‘Are there actually aliens with horse heads? Or is this not true and we can debunk it?’

R: Is this like a Doctor Who rendition?

I: Yeah, and at the end of the episode, they determined that it was a foil balloon and that the horse headed aliens was actually a reflection of the tapestry that the family had hanging on the wall of a herd of galloping horses. And the reason they saw that was because it was reflected- the mylar balloon was reflecting the painting. I don’t know how you could look at a mylar balloon and not see that it’s a mylar balloon.

R: I mean, if you don’t know what it is… I don’t know.

I: Well, UFO just means unidentified flying object. So if you go out walking tonight with your cat, and you see something move- 

R: Yeah, but the human imagination is such a wild thing. And you’re really overestimating the common collective knowledge.

I: So you’re seeing it’s possible they saw mylar balloon and really believed they were looking at a UFO?

R: Yes. Anything is possible.

I: Well, since that would be in the 60’s.

R: Statistically speaking, yes. That is totally possible.

I: Okay. Well, and like I was saying it was the 50’s or 60’s, so…

R: So like, you’re just assuming that everyone would know. But like, if you don’t live in a city; like let’s say you live in a farm, and you’re typically a more financially conservative family, you might not necessarily waste money on things like balloons. And so that might not be something that a kid is raised around. So if they’re just doing chores in the field, and all of a sudden they see this weird ass silver thing in the sky. They have no idea what the hell that is because they’ve never been to a birthday party.

I: -laughs- Okay, fair enough. I’ll give that to you.

R: That’s assuming collective knowledge and you can’t do that. 

I: Yeah, I guess. 

R: But actually, I looked up too. The thing I was talking about that came out last year that I was like, ‘Oh, nothing can surprise me.’ It’s called the Gateway Experience Project. And the little thing here that pops up says “the CIA a technique dubbed the gateway experience was essentially described as a training system to bring enhanced strength, focus and coherence to the amplitude, and frequency of brainwave output between the left and right hemispheres. That would alter the consciousness, pushing it outside the physical space escaping blah, blah, blah, blah.” And literally, the second link is an official document from the CIA. 

I: Okay. 

R: With an instruction manual. That’s literally what comes up on Google.

I: So what are they trying to do, create Jedi?

R: No, it’s for things like astral projecting, time travel is what they’re trying to say. All sorts of cool stuff. I’ve never actually read it but now that I’ve Googled it, I’m already halfway there. *sings terribly* Oh, gonna read this document *end singing* and yeah, I think I’m gonna download it. I’m doing it now.

I: Does it have anything to do with UFOs? 

R: Um, well, it is supposed to be able to communicate with astral beings.  So…

I: So that’s assuming that- 

R: Depends on your definition of UFO at that point, because UFO is a flying object, sure. But UFO is also like a blanket term for aliens because something has to be piloting it, you know? So then that brings us to alien beings; aliens are just anything that’s not like native to where we are. So- 

I: Well yeah. 

R: So you know, I think astral projecting might be one of those things. I don’t know. But I think I might read this. So I’m sure I’ll bring it up in a podcast in the future. 

I: Sure. 

R: Anyway, aliens though.

I: Aliens, yeah. So going back to what I was saying; I grew up where they actually came out said, ‘No, UFOs is not a thing.’ They even went so far as to do a TV show about it that basically said, ‘Oh no, it’s nothing. Not a thing.’ To now like, ‘yeah, yeah. No, it’s cool.’ 

R: Nothing like a tv show to be like, ‘no worries.’

I: Well if you think about like the TV show. I don’t remember how long it was on for. And I don’t really remember many episodes. And that could just be enough time has passed that like that just fades to memory or it could be I only saw a few episodes; I don’t know. I remember that that horse headed alien episode scared the crap out of me.

R: Understandable horses are already terrifying in general. I have a fear… like an equal part fear equal part respect, for horses.

I: Well, this particular episode actually had a scene in it where the horse headed aliens, when they were reenacting what the family was saying, were standing outside the window looking in. 

R: Oh my god. That’s so creepy.

I: Yes. And the house that I lived in at the time- 

R: Talk about nightmare fuel. 

I: Well, the house that I lived in at the time, my bed was against the wall in the corner; in the far corner from the door. And there were two windows; there was a window on one wall and another window on the other. 

R: Okay.

I: And it was kind of off the street so you didn’t really hear a lot of traffic. But occasionally, you would see, like the sweep of a headlight if somebody turned down the road. So that didn’t really bother me. But I used to sleep with the windows with the curtains open because I like to look up at the stars. 

R: Mhm.

I: But that episode creeped me out. And I went to bed and I pulled the covers up over my head. I’m like, ‘if they can’t see me…’

R: Yeah, if they don’t know you’re there- sound logic. I totally get that.

I: Yeah, as a kid. It’s kid logic. As an adult, if there’s a monster running around, climbing under the covers ain’t doing jack. You just ain’t gonna see how quick it finds you. That’s the only thing. 

R: -laughs-

I: You’re gonna get found. But as a kid, you’re like, ‘Oh well, they can’t see me.’

R: Well, no, it’s because your bed is a safe zone. Like whenever you play tag, there’s always a safe zone. 

I: Sure. 

R: So like in the realm of childhood, it’s like agreed upon that there’s always a safe zone. So your bed is that safe zone where you’re there. 

I: Yes. 

R: Your foot is not dangling over the side, your hands aren’t dangling over the side, you’re covered up; the bed is a respected zone that people just don’t fuck with.

I: Right, from underneath. But I’m over by the windows where the horse aliens could just reach in and grab me. 

R: -laughs-

I: And I eventually had to shut the curtains and like really closed like- 

R: Yeah.

I: -kind of twist to it so they would stay close so they couldn’t even see a peek at me.

R: Extra safety measures.

I: And my brothers slept on the bed opposite on a different bed, but opposite the room. So I left that part open.

R: -laughs- Setting him up to get murdered first. Have you seen Schitts Creek?

I: I have not but listen to my reasoning; it’s not that I wanted my brother to get murdered by aliens. But it was if I’m under and they don’t see me but they see him, they’ll snatch him and then they’ll be satisfied and they’ll totally forget all about me.

R: -laughs-

 I: And my brother was a bit of a dick so yeah, I I would have felt bad if he got snatched. It would not be anything I lost sleep over, so.

R: I just started watching Schitts Creek because I’ve watched through all my usual TV show so many times since COVID. So they’re moving into this hotel and it’s a brother and sister, and they’re deciding who’s sleeping in the bed closest to the door. And the argument ultimately evolves to ‘you get murdered first’, ‘no you get murdered first’ was like back and forth. 

I: -laughs- 

R: I just immediately envisioned that was your train of thought like ‘no, you get murdered first.’

I: Well, yeah. I didn’t want him to get murdered but growing up with the UFO’s-

R: It was like an offering, an offering to the gods!

I: I was totally willing to give them an offering. ‘Take this one, leave me here.’ So let’s just assume that UFOs are indeed real and they do mean what we usually think of when we say UFOs, meaning aliens. Do you think they’re coming here to visit us as science experiments? Or are they coming here to make sure that we’re not doing something stupid? Although we’re doing a lot of dumb stuff, so…

R: I forget that people can’t see the expressions that I’m making when you say things like that. Well, I mean, for me, I regularly- one thing I used to love to do, we used to do it together, we would just sit in a public place and just people watch.

I: Yes. 

R: And-

I: I still do that. 

R: Right. But I mean, right now COVID has kind of limited our ability to just be able to do that, without feeling weird about it, or like having to leave, you know? 

I: Yeah. 

R: But we used to just like to sit in a mall in a food court and people watch.

I: Ma’am this is a Wendy’s.

R: And knowing that people already naturally just like to pull themselves out of humanity for a second and just observe other humans and find that interesting, I would understand if aliens came to do that. And if humans in any capacity, went and explored other planets and found life, we would absolutely want to observe and get to know them, too. So it is definitely a two way street.

I: So you’re saying they’re coming here to observe? 

R: They could.

I: Just for observation purposes?

R: I’m not entirely sure. 

I: So why are they analing probing people in this scenario?

R: That was never brought to me in this scenario, this is just now…

I: Yeah, so I’m asking you how that would relate. 

R: So… maybe they were very… sexual race. Maybe they’re like… what if they don’t even know because they’re totally different. I would assume any other planet would have different gravity and atmosphere and stuff like that. 

I: Yeah, that makes sense.

R: So naturally any living creatures, their bodies would be different than humans.

I: Right.

R: Like, with certainty, we can say that in any capacity. Like, even if humans grew up on other planets, the gravity would still make a difference to how the bodies were formed, and things like that. So no matter what the bodies are different, right. 

I: Right. 

R: So with that in mind, maybe they don’t know what any of that stuff does. And we didn’t either until the terrible experiments that took place during the Holocaust, where they were doing all this tragic shit to people. Now we have all this information. So while I don’t necessarily think that they’re like… pure of thought, I also think maybe it was a ‘let’s find out what these things do.’ And they were doing a bunch of tragic experiments. Because I also haven’t heard of that happening recently. That was something that I always heard of in stories of in like the 70’s and the 80’s. Like when this stuff started really kicking off. 

I: Yeah, right. 

R: Like, this isn’t something that has consistently stayed a narrative.

I: No, that’s for sure. Yeah, that did taper off quite a ways back.

R: And like, because I remember a lot of people discredited any kind of claims with aliens, because they were usually hand in hand of, I was abducted, ‘I was experimented on, they did all these crazy things to me. And then they dropped me off in the middle of a field.’ And that just sounds crazy and I get that. But now people are like, ‘Oh, I just saw aliens.’ We’re not getting stories like that anymore.

I: And you also got to think about it, where are a lot of these stories coming from?

R: I’ve always heard of them in Southern

I: Well there’s-

R: -farm states is kind of where I’ve always heard of them, because crop circles and things like that. 

I: Yes. 

R: But I also- I’m sure there have been stories about things like in the Pacific Northwest, because we have things like Bigfoot and moth man and other things like the El Chupacabra down in South Africa… South America.

I: South- yeah.

R: You know what? Also, I’m not the kind of person to subscribe to government or lizard people. Because frankly, I don’t feel like Washington- Well, any Washington DC is warm enough in the summertime for lizards. Absolutely not in the wintertime; I just feel like they would pick a more neutral area like Texas. 

I: How do you- okay. How do you know that there’s not like a giant warming stone underneath the White House? 

R: Oh, you know what? You’re right. You’re right. 

I: The floor of the White House could totally be like, a heat rock.

R: You right, I didn’t even think of that.

I: You know what’s messed up? I just introduced a new facet to this stupid conspiracy theory. 

R: -laughs-

I: Watch it come back, you’re gonna see: lizard people. 

R: That’s what I’m saying, though, like I’ve heard of- 

I: the White House and Senate are using heat rocks 

R: -people saying politicians are lizard people, I don’t necessarily subscribe to the lizard aspect of it. I just there’s something to be said about the kind of lives that they live. Like career politicians, you just grow up being born into this family that just happens to have all these connections to all these other families that just happened to be born with these long lineages of money. And you all stay friends long enough to just keep being friends for generations.

I: It’s mutually beneficial.

R: It’s just insane, that has to be some alien interference.

I: Okay, what aliens gonna come down to earth and go, ‘Hey, you know what? We should just give this little tiny percentage of the human population, or the population of America. Since we’re talking about- 

R: Have you watched Rick and Morty? 

I: I love Rick and Morty. 

R: So you know that one episode where we discover that the engine of his ship is an entire world, full of diverse life and complex creatures that are full of potential and ideas and just living their lives, right? And then inside that world, a scientist creates another world-

I: -laughs-

R: -that’s full of diverse living creatures with their own potential and their own dreams and goals and jobs. And it just keeps going. 

I: -laughs- Okay…

R: So imagine the earth is Rick’s engine in this analogy, and politicians are Rick.

I: -laughs- Well, first of all-

R: That’s literally like, capitalism is built off of lower class labor. That’s literally the whole thing. We are the engine to the aliens’ ship.

I: Yes, but-

R: We got real conspiracy theory here… oof. I’m not even gonna apologize. I said, what I said.

I: It’s all good. I never really thought of it. And that, of course, I don’t want to Rick and Morty and start thinking like, ‘Oh, I wonder if that’s like our world.’

R: -laughs-

I: You know, in much the same way that they don’t watch the matrix and go, ‘Oh, I wonder if we’re in the matrix.’

R: Oh yeah, there’s a whole part of the internet that thinks that we’re all in a simulation. And that actually has been sort of the reason for a lot of decisions I’ve been making lately. Like, when my car completely died. My solution was to buy three electric scooters so that my family and I can just scooter around without having to pay for car insurance, without having to get any special endorsements, no licensing, no gasoline; just zooming around in our little scooter gang. 

I: So anybody-

R: Because we’re in a simulation and I can do whatever I want; I’m an adult, and no one can stop me.

I: So anybody listening to this; if you decide to go that route, please make sure you check with your local jurisdiction and laws to make sure that that’s a thing. It’s a thing in Washington State. But-

R: I will also uhm… I’ll source the website for where I got the adult scooters from. 

I: Cool. 

R: So I actually called them and asked, and then looked at the motorcycle laws and everything too and it’s totally kosher in my area.

I: You know, as far as living in a simulation; you know, there’s a part of me that would love to believe that that’s the thing, and that somebody is playing me. Because- like I’m somebody’s MMO character. Okay, first of all, if that’s the case: like I’m obviously- whoever is playing me is dumb AF. 

R: -laughs-

I: Because none of the skill points. You know what it is? I’m somebody’s MMO character. The reason why I’m not really good at a lot of stuff, is because the dumbass playing me has just gotten lucky with playing. And he has not assigned any of the damn skill points that would make me better.

R: -laughs- Yeah, didn’t do the research. Actually, you know the way that I kind of think about it? I’ve been entertaining the idea, I don’t solidly believe this. I’ve just been thinking, I’ve been looking at my life in the lens of ‘well, if I was to subscribe to that belief, how would I feel about this situation here?’, right? And I was thinking more of like World of Warcraft, kind of thing. Where you have your avatar but it’s like virtual reality. Where we are the avatar, we can control everything that we’re doing. Like you know in World of Warcraft and you can do like /dance, and then you just break out in dance. 

I: Right. 

R: But then you can run up to a cabinet and it’s just nothing; you’re just running into a wall, but nothing happens. You’re just running into a wall, you know? 

I: Okay.

R: So I was thinking like, ‘Okay, so if this is my consciousness just in this virtual reality experience, then I want to see what all this avatar can do.’ And that’s when I started- I got my purple Mohawk. And I got more tattoos. And I’m feeling much more like myself now, like, I’m vibing with this vessel so much more-

I: -laughs- That’s good. 

R: Now that I’m looking at it in a sense of like, ‘What can this body do?’ I’d be so dope, I could walk to the top of a mountain if I wanted to. My legs are strong enough. I know I could; it would suck and be uphill the entire way. 

I: -laughs-

R: But I’m physically capable of doing that. So I’m gonna. But a couple years ago Me would be like, ‘A top of a mountain? That’s a courageous task that people write books about, I wouldn’t do that.’

I: Depends on the mountain you go to. 

R: Yeah, but to me, all of the mountain seemed too tall; literally and metaphorically. And now that I’m looking at it as more of like, ‘this is a virtual reality. We’re just here to play the game and experience as much of the world and enjoy as much of it as possible. Then I’m gonna go to the top of the mountain and then I’m going to /dance.’

I: So you’re being controlled by aliens?

R: No by me. Like my consciousness from somewhere else is just placed in this vessel.

I: Oh… Well, that’s the case. I think my physical Me was too cheap to buy the better stuff.

R: -laughs- No, because when you play The Sims, everything you do- 

I: When I play The Sims, I put them in a room. I take out the windows, and the doors. I don’t leave a toilet in there, for them. 

R: -laughs-

I: I put in a stove so they could set the place on fire. Which they inevitably do.

R: And you wonder why your current mortal vessel is in the condition it’s in. That’s literally what you do!

I: That’s what I’m saying! I think whoever is like playing me- 

R: You are! And you made bad game choices! 

I: -laughs- I don’t like that… I don’t like that scenario.

R: -laughs- But that’s okay. Because now that you are aware, you can make more intentional choices. And so that’s why-

I: But am I making intentional choices or is this-?

R: Well now you are because now you’re doing things to take better care of yourself. You’re going on walks, going to the doctor, getting medications- 

I: Going on walkies. 

R: -eating better. So you are making more intentional decisions than you weren’t a couple years ago. But also now, you’re thinking things like ‘well, what else can I do?’ We’re creating this podcast together. A year ago, we weren’t talking about this.

I: So whoever’s controlling me got tired of locking me in a room and setting me on fire. -laughs-

R: Yeah. So now it’s kind of like, ‘what are we going to do?’

I: Maybe my account got sold. So someone else has bought the account and they’re playing me.

R: -laughs- Do you feel like you’re satisfied with your Current Player Experience?

I: I don’t know. It’s been different. 

R: -laughs-

I: We’ll see. We’ll see where he goes, or she. I don’t know, could be a girl.

R: Yeah, actually, you know, I was thinking about it because recently I-

I: Or doesn’t have to have a gender at all. 

R: I’ve been thinking about my own pronouns. And I have kind of landed on she/they for the time being because I feel more “she” driven when I’m super pretty and dressed up, like energized up. 

I: Right.

R: Otherwise, I feel more like the green blob alien in the Aliens vs Monsters movie. 

I: -laughs-

R: Like that, like that more accurately describes what I wish people saw, when they saw me. I would rather just be that. So I-

I: Of all the things to wish somebody could see you as.

R: A green, adorable, blobby alien that looks like see through jello?! It’s so cute! No expectations! No body shape to be upset about of any kind, you’re just chilling there being cute green apple jello. That’s all I want. 

I: Okay. 

R: If I could be an animal, I’d be a jellyfish… or a cat.

I: I’d be a wolf or a shark.

R: I could see those are good animals. But still, I digress.

I: Because we got way off away from UFO’s. -laughs- Well, I think UFOs are visiting if they are visiting us, I think they’re visiting us to make sure that we stay on this rock because we’re so warlike. 

R: Yeah… 

I: They’re probably like, look at these naked apes that are just killing each other. 

R: I just… -sigh- Yeah. 

I: We’re killing each other for things as dumb as race. 

R: Religion. 

I: Religion, yeah.

R: I just recently finished my Mesopotamian history class for school. And I learned about Mesopotamia, Egypt, Greece, Rome. And then the following spread of Christianity and all of that, you know. And I just, I just am so unfathomably angry. Because I can just think of all these examples of things I’ve seen where Christianity specifically, has caused so much destruction and damage and hurt and death. And all of it- 

I: They’re not the only religion- 

R: No, I know that- I fully acknowledge that. But the reason I’m upset about this specifically is because at one point, Christianity was considered a minority religion until one Roman emperor was just like, ‘Okay, we’re converting.’ And because it was a Roman emperor, and they had like, gigantic reach that they did, because they had conquered so much, it became the dominating thing. And then it gave that one religion so much more power over everything else. And even though I finished that class, I still don’t understand why every single race has had a problem with the Jewish culture. Like, they are always consistently getting picked on.

I: It’s the space lasers, duh.

R: I just don’t understand. So 

I: Yeah, I have a theory about that. 

R: But that being said, I’m like- politicians and organized religion seem like such radical things to me that if aliens were coming in interfering, I could see that being the products.

I: That they’re giving us religion?

R: Yeah.

I: They’re giving us religion to sort of keeps us fighting?

R: Possibly. Because also think about this. So many religions, generally speaking, and I’m saying generally because I am only familiar with the religions that are regularly talked about in American culture, which isn’t much but in my classes and whatnot. There’s always a consistent thing of like, there’s an overarching powerful person who’s in charge of your narrative, you have this set of rules to live by. And if you do the things you’re supposed to do, you have a wonderful afterlife where you get these gifts or experience these things. If you don’t, then you have a terrible afterlife, where this is your punishment. Every religion pretty consistently has the same kind of core structure.

I: Yeah, I think that’s just a human thing.

R: Well, right, but like, that’s like writing an essay. So you can straight up just like, ‘Okay, here. Here’s a document. This is how to have a religion.’ And then they just a person comes in like, ‘Hey, I’m Jesus. Let me tell you all the rules of how to live your life.’ and-

 I: What if Jesus was an alien? 

R: Exactly! Like all these weird people that revolutionized and changed everything they touched. Probably aliens.

I: So Mohammed could have been an alien. 

R: Yeah. 

I: No disrespect. I just want to say no disrespect, man. 

R: I think it might be them, though. 

I: But no, so any of these religious type leaders could have been aliens coming down.

R: Yeah… Moses.

I: Can you imagine? You’re an alien, you come down here. This is the equivalent of what you do- what kids do when they are in high school and they get drunk and they go out in the fields, right? 

R: -laughs-

I: Like alien kids getting drunk and flying out in the backwoods Earth over here. 

R: -laughs-

I: I don’t necessarily mean backwoods like this,

R: I love that too, because time fluctuates differently in space. So like, they really could just, ‘let’s hop on over to Earth.’ And they just come and it’s been several 1000’s of years in between each one for us, but for them it’s been a weekend.

I: Right, because they can fold space and time or whatever. But no, and I don’t mean backwards backwoods as in like the south. I mean, that like the whole entire Earth would be like the backwoods… 

R: To space. 

I: To space.

R: Yeah. And so I would agree with that. I think humans are garbage, so I would agree with that.

I: Inner galactic Jethro and Skeeter fly over here, and they land and they’re doing their little high school thing. And imagine that like one of them- say, alien Skeeter. He’s out in the woods taking a piss some shits going on, right? 

R: Mhm.

I: And some like early people stumbling on this. And then he’s caught and now he’s- there’s rules for what you have to do. You cannot get caught by whoever’s on- 

R: the Galactic Federation? 

I: The locals. Yeah, there’s rules to this, right. 

R: Yeah. 

I: And there’s like all these protocols they have to follow. But intergalactic Skeeter here; he basically follows me None of those. 

R: Of course not. 

I: So he does something like turn water to wine and give it to the 

R: Yeah. 

I: To the hairless apes.

R: I bet you it’s like one of those situations where he crashed onto Earth and some thing held up this container that had water in it because you know, like that’s the thing that brings life because that’s basic. 

I: Sure.

R: Every living creature needs water, right? 

I: Right.

R: And then he looks at it, all like down his nose all snooty and he touches it and turns it into wine. He’s like, ‘You’ll have a better experience with that, my friend.’ And gets everyone drunk for the first time!

I: That’s the thing, but he comes off as a god and-. 

R: Party Guy!

I: -they’re worshipping him.

R: Yeah. Well, and then it goes terribly wrong because you know, they murder him. So,

I: Yes, because intergalactic Skeeter didn’t follow proper intergalactic-

R: Ah, that’s right! He drew too much attention to himself. See, that’s what it is. And then- oh my god, we’re getting so deep in conspiracy theories because-

I: That’s what the abductions are for! These guys are here having fun and they’re trying not to get caught, and then somebody shows up on the scene. And they’re like-

R: Gotta dump the body so fast-

I: ‘We got to do something about this.’ But no, so it’s these intergalactic alien youths that show up, get caught-

R: Just imagine that one aliens meme, that one guy with really crazy hair. 

I: Oh, yeah. 

R: Aliens.

I: Have you ever seen that guy? 

R: Yes. 

I: He is so bizarre to watch. 

R: I know, I love it. 

I: That he’s a meme, is like not surprising. 

R: I saw the meme first, for years. And then one day I went when I was living with my stepmom. She was watching the History Channel and that fucking documentary came on and I was like, ‘Oh my god, the time is now! I finally get to see this meme in action!’ And so I was on the edge of my seat watching this the whole time. And he legitimately goes, aliens. 

I: Yes, okay- 

R: And every time he’s seen afterwards, because there’s like a whole series, it’s not just one episode. 

I: No, right, yeah.

R: His hair is always done that way. 

I: Yep. 

R: And it’s longer, every time.

R: Yes. So I was watching that stuff- I’ll be honest. I do love to watch that stuff. I’m not necessarily believing that any of their stuff 

R: I don’t have cable, I just use Netflix. 

I: Well, yeah, I mean I don’t watch it now because I don’t have cable. But when you’re growing up, I had the cable so you could watch it. Because we had it, one day I was up late I discovered this and I got hooked. So I saw this guy for many, many, many, many episodes before I ever saw the meme. 

R: Yeah. 

I: As soon as I saw the meme; Oh, I died so hard. I laughed so hard that I practically died. Because I got it, I just lucked out. Yes.

R: Also, though, I think aliens are so popular and so discussed because it explains a lot of unexplainable things. For example: the Aztecs, Eldorado- that was real, right? That’s a movie title but I forget where it actually… like the culture? I’m so sorry, internet.

I: I don’t know that I would go- I don’t know that I would go with Hollywood for cultural correctness.

R: Well, no, I know. It was like what they were referencing, but also the pyramids? How the fuck did they do that? Especially because the pyramids were that we can see now- 

I: Clearly jewish slaves.

R: -have substantially usually worn down. So they’ve substantially worn down from what they used to be. Because you know, like natural wear and tear from existing on the face of the earth in the desert. 

I: Right. 

R: So the proportions were even more exact and precise. And they did the math and in order for things to be as built as quickly as they were and as proficiently a cube, block, whatever had to be settled into place every 15 minutes, round the clock for like 15 years. And they achieved it in a different amount. I don’t remember what it was but the point still stands. How were things done? How do we have entire cultures of people, wiped out just gone? Dinosaurs- we know Meteor, but like, where did the meteor come from? You know, so at this point, like there’s so many unexplainable things that we just don’t know the information to that it’s easier to be like ‘aliens’. Okay, it wraps it up so that it’s comforting to have that as an explanation versus a giant question mark.

I: Right. I think it’s fun to think about stuff like that. I think that if there was some way that you could go back in time and see, for example, the pyramids being built. I feel like the method that it got built is much more than mundane, then aliens.

R: Also the Romans had a kind of cement that could harden underwater that we can’t figure out how to replicate.

I: So there was a thing called the Library at Alexandria. 

R: Yeah, the Alexandria Library. 

I: It burned down. 

R: -sigh- I know and I’m so angry about that too, fuck those guys.

I: Back then we didn’t have the methods of copying and keeping copies that we do now. So like, we have a lot of this stuff stored on servers, right? Servers that are in data centers. If you were to go look, anything that has anything like you can take, like, for example, the CIA, okay. Their servers, there’s several locations. If they get one bombed, and it destroys all the servers on that, they have the means of replicating that. It’s not something that we had back in that because back then, in order to have a copy of a book- 

R: A person had to write it. 

I: A person had to physically sit down and draw and copy it and stuff.

R: Scribes were a whole thing.

I: Right. So think about how much information was on scrolls and Papyrus in that library, that probably had things that would be considered technologically advanced for that age but we don’t have that knowledge. 

R: Yeah. 

I: And if right now, something happened that we all got knocked back to the Dark Ages; we lost all the information on all these scientific principles. In 1,000 years from now, we would be back to that. So I think there’s things that we are figuring out today that we lost at that library. It’s just taken us this long to-

R: Like rediscovering the information. 

I: Rediscover it. 

R: That’s the other thing that’s always irritated me about the human race, is that we don’t ever seem to have a collective goal in mind. It’s always personal. 

I: It’s related to money for the most part. 

R: Yeah, it’s just personal greed; just money, more money, always. Imagine how much cooler and further and advanced our society would be if it was more of a ‘how do we make things better for the most people’ versus ‘how do I make more money than everyone else?’ And I feel like if aliens were coming here to keep us here, that would probably be the reason why. Because if we tried, if we went and found anything, immediately, it would all be ‘how do we capitalize on this?’ 

I: Oh, yeah. 

R: So we would just destroy more, we would do the same thing we do to Earth. Especially because with where our global situation is at and a lot of politicians don’t want to do anything about it. At a certain point, I almost wonder if we found another planet that was suitable for life or whatever they’re like, let’s just figure out how to go there. And then we can stop giving a chainsaw about this one. I have no faith in our government.

I: I think that’s kind of being done behind the scenes. I mean, okay, I don’t want to say today is, but if word came out that that was something to be worked on. Like it would not surprise me. 

R: Yeah. 

I: All right. Well, I’m going to bring this episode to a close

R: Crazy crackpot UFO alien discussion. If you happened to stick around for all these crazy theories, thanks for that. 

I: Yes. 

R: If you’re still a fan, thanks for that.

I: And you know what? Feel free to toss out your own theories at us on Twitter. 

R: Remember to be nice, though, 

I: Be nice, yes. Don’t be jerks. All right. Well, with that, have a week.

R: Byeee! And this has been another episode of Tricky Fish. If you liked what you heard and want more of us, ou can find us on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever else you find your podcasts. Reviews and comments really help us out so feel free to leave us one. Otherwise, you can find us at tricky fish podcast.com and Twitter at tricky fish pod

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